Don't get me wrong. I am not ungrateful for the ladies that went before me, the ladies who paved the way for all of us modern, baby slinging, high heeled and Birkenstock wearing, multi- tasking, multi -careered gals! PHEW. I am tired just typing that! But, I am very grateful. Recently I have become obsessed with Louisa May Alcott. She was, in the purest sense of the word, an early and true feminist. She was married to her writing, fiercely independent and resolved to never marry. She had an iron will and the sort of self discipline that would make an Olympic athlete jealous. She is rapidly becoming my heroine and obsession. But that is an entirely different blog entry. Thank you Louisa. Sidebar. Sorry.
ANYWAY!! Tonight I want to talk about women who do too much. Women who are rapidly becoming "human doings" instead of "human beings" and in that, are losing the very essence of what makes them vibrant and healthy, self actualized humans. This is the breeding ground for mental illness and imbalance. I feel this "human doing" mentality might be an epidemic in the birthing world. We are all dynamic, complex and multi faceted ladies and this is fantastic! But- how many of us are good at sitting still? Good at resting when we need to, taking a break when we should. Do we eat well and carve out time for those vital relationships with one another? Or are we squeezing as much activity and "doing" out of each day with little to no regard for our well being? Are we taking on too many clients out of fear we won't make rent or the mortgage payment when really we should be charging more and taking on less?
I worry and I wonder if we have mistaken the "choice to do anything we want" for "the obligation to do and BE EVERYTHING to everyone". I am quite certain that some of us have fallen into this trap! I know I have at times.
With the advent of feminist thinking I feel the message our society sends is that we must do and be IT ALL. We must have brilliant, well paying careers and Ivy League educations. We must be amazing mothers, Victoria's Secret keeping wives, Martha Stewart chefs and homemakers - WHILE simultaneously conceiving and executing the solution for world hunger. ENOUGH I say! It is just TOO much. What do you think?
So glad I am almost out of this hole. I insist now on carving time out of my life for me and the relationships that mean the most! I LOVE your bitching!
ReplyDeleteI always say that feminists cut off their nose to spite their face. I feel like women are completely disconnected from everything that makes them women (and from BIRTH) because of overzealous feminism. Those super early feminists fought for our right to be seen as equal. But then we went and screwed it up and wanted to... wanted to what, deny our femininity? Teach our daughters that you're worthless if you choose to be a mom and be with your kids instead of work "like a man"? Bullsh*t.
ReplyDeleteI reference this article all the time, I love it: http://jezebel.com/5690698/take-your-workaholism-and-shove-it-say-dutch-womencan-we-do-this-too
I don't want to be "equal" if it means working long hours and not getting enough time with my son. I want to be respected as a valid human being, just like everyone else, but I want to be respected for choosing to take care of my home & family, and to celebrate the fact that sorry, there ARE huge biological differences between men and women and the ability to nurture and be... well, be "a woman" is far from being inferior ... it pretty much keeps the world going. :)
HOORAY!!
ReplyDeleteI am still so deep in that hole. ugh. I want to go back to being a self actualized human being! Unbalanced land is no good! You are my favorite bitcher ever.
ReplyDeleteNikki - your comment about "cutting off your nose to spite your face" is very apropos. Perhaps you all will enjoy this post? I don't know... :)
ReplyDeletehttp://thederangedhousewifeonline.blogspot.com/2011/08/have-women-been-duped-by-feminist.html
There are good points to being "liberated," and some very bad ones as well...
YAY!! Blog networking! I love it!
ReplyDeleteI found you because we got tagged together today on FB. I couldn't believe what I was reading. I have an affinity for Louisa May Alcott, too. And what you were saying about human beings versus human doings... too true. You're so right. I think it's because we are obsessed with appearances, facades, competition, and we've all become dabblers in the art of putting up a good front. We think our imperfect is anything short of perfect, and we are harming ourselves. We fail to see our own beauty, our good enough, as awesomeness.
ReplyDeleteAll that glitters isn't gold, and I know that people who appear to be doing it all are only letting others see what they want to see. We are all just human, and there are only 24 hours in a day for each of us. Everything is a trade off. Something will be missing. We must do what honors our soul and forgive leaving the rest.
And we all have many interests, many pursuits, so even in that regard we may all be "guilty"... gotta find balance! So, that's what I think. :) When you truly love yourself first, it'll all fall into place. We need to come back to loving and peace within ourselves.